you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
