We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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