That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
