he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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