we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
