I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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