I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize