but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
