Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
