He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
