I wish I could punch you in the face.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
