dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
