about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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