I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
