just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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