so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
