you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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