I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize