clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
