hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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