just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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