problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
