More tranny stories later!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
