Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
