is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
