i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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