i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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