She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
