From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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