After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
