Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
