This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
