Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
