You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
