So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want to be your penis for a week.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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