At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
