Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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