So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
