my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
