hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
