I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
false alarm, still single
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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