God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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