How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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