it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
