Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
