Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
