you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
