And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
