Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
