i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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