Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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