i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
