I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
