So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize