Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
