it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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