On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize