Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
