my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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