at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
