Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
