what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
